Why Can’t I Haz Food? A Guest Post by Moby

Introducing Moby Dog-Roast, by George

Dan of IslandEAT, one of the humans we let live in our house (who are we kidding? – it is ours really), said that you readers want more of I Can Haz Food Blog? Our first post was an April Fools Day joke.  Now Jinja and I have to come up with additional posts for all you World Wide Webizens HOL (“hiss out loud”).

Lucky for us, Moby offered to do a guest post.  Mobesity Dog-Roast is his full name. Before angry dogs get even more angry with us, his unusual last name is one Dan uses for Moby’s humans. Their hyphenated last names sound suspiciously like “dog roast”…which is not a bad idea, as far as  most cats and I are concerned POL (“purr out loud”).

Dan  and Mrs. Dog-Roast worked together for an organization which, I think, has something to do with pandas.  It is somewhere in the big bad city of Vancouver, where Moby lives with Dr. and Mrs. Dog-Roast.   The Dog-Roasts even had their honeymoon on our island, but they somehow did not manage to come over to meet Jinja and me (though Jinja is such a trouble-maker, who would want to meet her?).   The Dog-Roasts are smart to live with Moby, who is such a fine-looking fellow feline IMFO (“in my feline opinion”).  Thank you for being our first guest cat food-blogger, Moby!

Why Can’t I Haz Food?

Does this duvet make me look thinner?

Hi, my name is Moby, and I have been on a diet since I was 8 months old… My owners take pride in placing me on the scale to see the pounds melt away. “He is down another 0.2”, they shout with joy, as if being 18 lbs. is a problem (now I am only 12 lbs., thanks to this cruel diet).

It is not my fault that I was born big-boned. I come from hearty Québécois farm stock. We had to be big and burly to catch those gourmet field mice that my ancestors could feast upon. Sigh… feast. That is something I am so rarely able to do. They get so mad when I eat a loaf of bread, trail mix, cardboard boxes… well, when you are hungry all the time like I am, you take what you can get.

My favourite though… is when I smell fresh salmon coming in off the barbecue. I just can’t help myself; I want it so bad.

Alas, I must wait for another bowl of mush to arrive. If only my family loved me enough to free-feed. Why, oh why, don’t they trust me?

Photos of the marvelous Moby are courtesy of Mrs. Dog-Roast.

Posted in Guest Posts | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Jinja and George Make a Food Blog

We decided to start our own food blog.  The human with whom we share our space, Dan from IslandEAT, seems to have been too busy to post much these days.  How hard can it be to write a post?

Jinja, the ginger female on the left above, and I, George, have chosen a fish-themed post for April 1st, “poisson d’avril”, as they call it in France.  We both understand English and French, so we can switch back and forth.

I also know Bislama, the official language of my homeland, Vanuatu.  George hemi wan bigfala pusskat, be hemi nogat wan tingting, as we used to say back in the South Pacific.  (“George is a big cat but he is absolutely clueless” but I say this to his face all the time, and he just closes his eyes, pretending as if he is just ignoring me when he really has no idea of what I have said to him).    –  Jinja.

Honestly, I really do not know why I put up with her…COL (“chuckle out loud”).  Jinja also insisted on hogging our site’s banner and then is trying to insult me in our first post.  It is a good thing for her that I am older, wiser, and so easy-going, given that I weigh 16 pounds to her eight pounds of feisty-South-Pacific-feline.

Carlyle’s Just Tuna For Cats

We do not agree on many things, such as the superiority of NoPac islands (north Pacific, where we both live now) to those down in SoPac (South Pacific) or other territorial matter. However, we do agree that our favourite tinned food is Carlyle’s Just Tuna for Cats. Its title makes us think of that television show the humans used to watch, Will and Grace, with its character Jack, whose cabaret show was called Just Jack.  This food makes us POL, or “purr out loud”, for those of you not used to feline-internet slang.

While it is darker than the tuna which the humans seem to eat, Just Tuna for Cats does not have sodium and other things we do not need.  This product also has vitamins for us, so we give it a two-paws up rating.  We even share and share alike, every other day when Dan decides to give us each one-quarter of a tin.  Now if this could only become a daily routine….

Posted in Uncategorized | 11 Comments