Why Can’t I Haz Food? A Guest Post by Moby

Introducing Moby Dog-Roast, by George

Dan of IslandEAT, one of the humans we let live in our house (who are we kidding? – it is ours really), said that you readers want more of I Can Haz Food Blog? Our first post was an April Fools Day joke.  Now Jinja and I have to come up with additional posts for all you World Wide Webizens HOL (“hiss out loud”).

Lucky for us, Moby offered to do a guest post.  Mobesity Dog-Roast is his full name. Before angry dogs get even more angry with us, his unusual last name is one Dan uses for Moby’s humans. Their hyphenated last names sound suspiciously like “dog roast”…which is not a bad idea, as far as  most cats and I are concerned POL (“purr out loud”).

Dan  and Mrs. Dog-Roast worked together for an organization which, I think, has something to do with pandas.  It is somewhere in the big bad city of Vancouver, where Moby lives with Dr. and Mrs. Dog-Roast.   The Dog-Roasts even had their honeymoon on our island, but they somehow did not manage to come over to meet Jinja and me (though Jinja is such a trouble-maker, who would want to meet her?).   The Dog-Roasts are smart to live with Moby, who is such a fine-looking fellow feline IMFO (“in my feline opinion”).  Thank you for being our first guest cat food-blogger, Moby!

Why Can’t I Haz Food?

Does this duvet make me look thinner?

Hi, my name is Moby, and I have been on a diet since I was 8 months old… My owners take pride in placing me on the scale to see the pounds melt away. “He is down another 0.2”, they shout with joy, as if being 18 lbs. is a problem (now I am only 12 lbs., thanks to this cruel diet).

It is not my fault that I was born big-boned. I come from hearty Québécois farm stock. We had to be big and burly to catch those gourmet field mice that my ancestors could feast upon. Sigh… feast. That is something I am so rarely able to do. They get so mad when I eat a loaf of bread, trail mix, cardboard boxes… well, when you are hungry all the time like I am, you take what you can get.

My favourite though… is when I smell fresh salmon coming in off the barbecue. I just can’t help myself; I want it so bad.

Alas, I must wait for another bowl of mush to arrive. If only my family loved me enough to free-feed. Why, oh why, don’t they trust me?

Photos of the marvelous Moby are courtesy of Mrs. Dog-Roast.

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About IslandEAT

I am a Canadian-American living in the Gulf Islands, near Vancouver. My blog is what I bake, cook, eat, and think about on my small island.
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2 Responses to Why Can’t I Haz Food? A Guest Post by Moby

  1. IslandEAT says:

    Thanks, Mandy. You sure know how to make a cat purr!

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